Friday, January 8, 2010

"Here I am, where I ought to be" (Karen Blixen)...or not?!


Picture from the movie Out of Africa: Google Images

There has never been a lack of drama in my life. Whether this manifests itself in my extended family, my love life, the daily chaos of a life in Africa or even just in my head…I always have enough inspiration to write!

My recent holiday in SA provided me with enough stories to narrate a whole book, but I might upset the family, so let me just say I had a wonderful time! In between the visits to the dentist, doctors, hairdresser and beauty parlour I tried to see as many of my friends as possible. But it was physically impossible to get to everyone and to those that I missed on this epic South-African journey, there will be a next time…or there is always Zanzibar! Karibu Sana!

The last week was spent with the family in Kleinmond. On Christmas day we were 35 adults and 9 toddlers under the age of 5. That my dear friends was NOT even the whole family! And yes, we all stayed in one house! I am used to people unashamedly gaping at me when I mention the above statistics and facts, but by some miracle we manage to stay together in semi-peace and have a lovely time! Communal bathrooms, bread on order from Spar and an on-duty roster is the strange dynamics of my family holiday – madness but marvelous!

And now I find myself back in sandy and sweaty Dar es Salaam. While packing my things I was starting to look forward to coming back to my temporary home in East-Africa. But to be honest, it has been harder than I expected. I would suggest the intense homesickness is due to a lot of uncertainty in my life. I need to find a new job, a new house, buy a car, a computer…and all of this while I need to get used to the fact that there will be no more unexpected visits out of the bush from my hunter. That is a lot to digest at the beginning of 2010!

But a new year in its essence is about new beginnings. So maybe it is fitting that I put things into perspective again and ask myself – why am I here, what do I want to do here, am I still madly in love with the rhythm of Africa or am I longing for a settle way of life down south?

I am sitting under the magnificent flame tree in Desert Rose's garden and thinking about the above. I am not sure of the answers. At times I want to get a panic attack because I am not busy climbing the corporate ladder like the rest of my friends or settling down with children and a dog (never mind the absence of a husband!). And then I think of sunshine weekends on Bongoyo island, lazy Sundays at our secret beach or black nights in the African bush and maybe for now, in my 30th year that is still enough?


1 comment:

  1. Aaah Andizi, I somehow think that right now, sitting under the flame tree in Desert Rose's garden is exactly where you should be.
    You supercoolhappything you!